Feeling Jealous this Holiday Season? 5 Tips to Avoid It!

(Last Updated On: )

I love a good holiday song, baking cookies, and hanging out with friends and family, but with social media the holidays can bring about feelings of jealousy as well. Perhaps it’s seeing a friend travel to an exotic destination while you’re stuck in the cold, gifts people bought, or just not being close to family. Whatever the case, feeling jealous is more common than you think, especially when you’re trying to save or get out of debt.

Jealousy and Social Media

I used to love posting all the pictures from the traveling I had done on social media, but after I got in the habit of taking a social media detox twice a year, I realized I only posted out of vanity. I wanted everyone to know how cool I was. Literally, that was my only motivation, pure narcissism. This isn’t the case for everyone. It just happened to be the case for me. Ashamed to admit it, but that’s the honest truth.

We’ve all been there. You’re bored so you start scrolling on social media. Then you feel it, a quick pain after you see someone’s perfectly decorated mansion of a house, styled to perfection hair, vacation highlights, or anyone just looking beautiful. According to Science Daily a research study by University of Pennsylvania found that “there’s an enormous amount of social comparison that happens. When you look at other people’s lives, particularly on Instagram, it’s easy to conclude that everyone else’s life is cooler or better than yours” (University of Pennsylvania). F.O.M.O. (Fear Of Missing Out) is real, and this was exactly what I was feeling and participating in. Because of social media, we’re no longer jealous with the Joneses who live across the street. We’re jealous of everyone in the world who seem to have a better life than we currently do. This is exhausting and extremely unrealistic.

Jealous this Holiday Season?

Another way jealousy shows itself over the holidays is through loneliness. The research by University of Pennsylvania shows that “reducing your use of social media actually makes you feel less lonely.” Loneliness can be a form of jealousy on social media, especially over the holidays. You see pictures of everyone with their families, and perhaps you don’t live close to yours, or you don’t have the money to visit, or like my own parents all their kids are all over the U.S. and the world (Sorry Mom and Dad, be home soon!). Seeing pictures of families together can make one feel lonely. It’s best to take breaks from social media to alleviate these feelings, and then get out and interact with people off social media.

Is It Worth it?

I’ve motivated myself to set boundaries with social media by thinking of my attention as currency for social media platforms. These platforms are making a profit off of MY TIME spent scrolling on social media. My attention (among many of others) is worth millions of dollars from companies and platforms trying to get me to buy, see, and follow their products. When you look at it from this perspective, you feel as if you’ve been cheated. Platforms give you entertainment, and here’s the real irony, entertainment created by your friends, and in return they suck time and money from you. Mind blowing, right? Now, can you really look at social media the same?

5 Tips to Avoid Feeling Jealous This Holiday Season

We shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves. Social media is a relatively new phenomenon. We humans just don’t have the natural instincts to combat the effects on our happiness, but these 5 tips to avoid feeling jealous this holiday season will help!

1. Take a Social Media Detox

Take a social media detox over the holidays. As the research suggests it’s best to “reduce opportunities for social comparison” (University of Pennsylvania).  You could probably alleviate much of your jealousy, if you just don’t know what other people are doing over the holidays. Then you won’t feel like you’re missing out, or have less. It will also help you to focus more on your own family and their needs. You can read more about the benefits of a social media detox here.

2. Spend more Time With Actual People

As the Science Daily article suggests “put your phone down and be with the people in your life.” Invite people over to your home more often and share a meal.

When I was growing up my parents had a house that could entertain a large group of people and I always loved the parties they would throw for the holidays. Inviting people over and hosting is a great way to forget jealousy, judgement and shame. It’s a way to give of yourself, a guaranteed way to feel better.

3. Give More

Speaking of giving, find ways to make yourself feel more generous. When you feel generous you don’t feel like you’re missing out. In fact, being generous for me is a little bit selfish. I do it because I love the feeling I get from giving to people. There are many ways to feel generous without spending any money.

4. Start a Gratitude Practice

Recently, I was grading a student’s essay and she was describing the best gift she had ever been given. For this particular student it was a home. She was a single mom who had worked every extra hour to save enough for a down payment on a home for her and her sons. She wrote in detail, describing the space and how grateful she was to have her very own home. It brought me to tears because I had taken for granted the simple idea of having a home that was safe for my family. I had in the past compared it to others and found faults, but this piece of writing showed me that simply having a space that is just ours, for our family, is something to be truly grateful for. Start a gratitude practice. You can learn more about it here, or buy your own here.

5. Embrace Minimalism

I consider myself a bit of a minimalist, and the holidays are no exception. My husband and I don’t really buy gifts for each other, unless there is something we truly need. Instead we’ve spent it on plane tickets, or travel costs for weekends away at the beach.

For our daughter we follow the minimalist guide for gifts: “something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read.” Her big gift this year was a bike, and we bought it used on Craigslist. We also bought her a warm winter jacket, from a consignment shop. In total, her gifts were very inexpensive. She gets gifts from people in our family all the time, and she really doesn’t need anything else. Minimalism during the holidays can help you focus on what brings your family the most joy. A bike, and flights home to MN will bring the most joy for us. No need to compare when you focus on what you need most. 

Final Words

When you intentionally decide on not buying a lot of stuff, you won’t feel jealous. I have found that more stuff actually doesn’t make me any happier, but time spent sharing an experience does.

Also, taking time away from social media is necessary. I learned so much about my personal tendencies after I took my social media detox. You can read more about my experience here.

P.S. We always ask readers to follow us on Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook. We consciously try to document our everyday simple lives with wellness, financial literacy, and minimalism tips. If you’re trying to cut out social media, you’ll need to subscribe directly to this blog. We welcome you to join us!

Join the Discussion

 How do you set boundaries to avoid F.O.M.O. (Fear of Missing Out)? Could you ever completely give up social media? Why or why not?

Author

-Maria Halcumb
B.A. in Secondary Education, English, and Physical Education
M.A. Ed. in Curriculum & Instruction and Reading Specialist

Source

University of Pennsylvania. “Social media use increases depression and loneliness, study finds.” ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 8 November 2018. <www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/11/181108164316.htm>.