5 Questions to Ask Before Writing Your New Year’s Resolution

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Are you struggling to come up with a New Year’s Resolution that you will stick to this year? Thinking of the “5 questions to ask before writing your New Year’s resolution” will bring you clarity this year!

Goal Setting

Goals can sometimes substitute as a way to feel good about yourself briefly, only to find out you’ll create a new goal tomorrow and the struggle begins again. For example, I used to make obnoxious health and exercise goals like cutting out all sugar, or working out even after a full day as a PE teacher.

The goals were based on my own vanity. It wasn’t really tied in to how I wanted to feel. I now work out way less, let myself eat treats when I want to, and I never really weigh myself. I have become clear on my priorities and set in place habits to keep me on track.

One of my biggest “aha moments” was when I set a goal to begin running my normal 1 hour trail runs 2 months after I had given birth. I had read somewhere of some lady who had no trouble running right after giving birth etc. I was comparing myself to someone who I didn’t even know and holding on so tight to my old expectations that I wasn’t listening to my body, my baby or my massively changed priorities that motherhood brings.

Turns out I don’t actually want to run for an hour on trails anymore, but I told myself that if I reached that goal then I’d know that my body was back to the way it was before I became pregnant. See, I was holding onto the expectation that pregnancy and motherhood didn’t change me. That I was still the same person. I’m not, just as my body isn’t the same either. Needless to say, I struggled to meet the goal in only two months and as a result learned a powerful lesson: goals not aligned with priorities are a complete waste of time and effort.

Goals based on vanity are great starting places, don’t get me wrong. I came to eating plant-based from pure vanity, but through that journey I realized the deep priority was a “higher quality of life for all.” Examine the goals you have set and think even deeper about the priorities and values that it can be supported by.

Prioritize How You Want To Feel

Danielle Laporte in her book The Fire Starter Sessions suggests that instead of writing SMART goals you should decide on how you want to feel. When I sat down and actually prioritized how I wanted to feel in the next year, it was truly eye-opening. One of the most intriguing priorities was “generosity.” I wanted to feel like I was giving of myself to others, and I realized that all my goal setting was self-serving and not actually how I wanted to feel in the end anyways. It was a distraction. A way to keep myself busy, instead of getting into the heart of what I wanted out of life.

Realizing that I wanted to feel generous was equally intriguing because it forced me to think creatively about the ways that I “give.” I wrote a similar post about how to feel generous even on a debt free journey over the holidays. I know at this stage in my life, I’m not able to give large sums of money, but I can share my thoughts, knowledge, guidance, and skills with others. I can volunteer my time, actually listen to friends and family. Generosity can be shown in a variety of ways, and I don’t have to set a SMART goal to meet that priority, check it off my list, and then repeat the process.

Prioritizing how you want to feel  will also help you make decisions. Do you want to take on that extra project at work? Only if you want to feel creative, successful, or productive. Do you want to buy the amazingly beautiful cashmere sweater you just saw? Only if your purchase meets one of your priorities like quality, beauty, or uniqueness. Prioritizing how you want feel instead of blindly goal setting allows you to narrow down your choices. Decisions will become easier because you know how you ultimately want to feel. You’ll make choices quickly and efficiently. You may even say “no” more, because you only say “yes” to your top priorities.

5 Questions to Ask Before Writing Your New Year’s Resolution

Here are 5 questions to ask before writing New Year’s Resolution, with examples from my own life.

1. How Do You Want to Feel This Year?

Reflect on the past year and think about how you’d like to feel this year. I came to my realization by thinking of the most engaging events of the past year and then figuring out what my feeling was during the event. I narrowed it down to 3 feelings. See example below:

I personally want to feel generous, powerful, and joyous.

2. What Activities Make You Feel This Way?

List the ways you’d like to feel and then identify what activities make you feel this way. Please see my example below:

• Generous – spending time with my daughter, writing, teaching,  inspiring women, listening and spending time with friends and family.

• Powerful – Starting my own business, paying off student loans quickly, writing, running, going out of my comfort zone, being creative, yoga

• Joyous – spending time with my daughter and husband, meditating, laughing, spending time in nature, spending time with great friends, being spontaneous, reading, writing, being active, following a gratitude practice

3. What Activities Don’t Align with How You Want to Feel?

Think all the activities that suck the life out of you and leave you feeling drained and anything less that your amazing self. Please see my examples below:

• Being busy, feeling rushed, taking on too many tasks, comparing myself to others, not practicing self care, not setting boundaries, spending too little time with family, not prioritizing

4. What Goals Align with How You Want to Feel?

Now think of goals that will bring about those core feelings. What would make you feel this way? Please see my example below:

Hit 1,000 subscribers to Literallysimple.com

Work less by being productive

Live off one income

Sleep 8 hours a night

5. Categorize and Prioritize Most Important Goals

Now it’s time to prioritize your most important goals. Cut out any that are repetitive or not aligned or specific to the way you want to feel. Please see my example below:

Powerful

1. Sleep 8 hours a night
2. Live off one income

Generous

1. Monetize Literallysimple.com

Joyous

1. Work less

Final Words

Even as I was writing this, I thought about adding more goals, but that would be missing the point. The point is, if I get 8 hours of sleep, monetize my blog, work less, and live off one income I will probably have more time for self-care, be rested so in better health, create healthy boundaries, and ultimately meet our financial goals this year.

The goal to complete 1 hour trail runs didn’t align with my values or changing priorities. As it turns out, I realized that prioritizing my physical strength can be accomplished in a myriad of ways, not just by running. Perhaps it now includes a jogging stroller, a brief stop at the park mid-run, with giggles on the swing set and lunges up to the slide. Prioritize how you wish to feel this New Year first and then take action steps to meet those priorities.

Join the Discussion

How do you want to feel this year? What goals align with how you want to feel?

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Author

Maria Halcumb is a teacher, reading specialist, and mother. You can find her reading books, being in nature, minimizing her life, and spending time with family and friends in the great PNW. If you want to learn more about Maria, check out the About page.

Source

LaPorte, Danielle. The Fire Starter Sessions: a Soulful Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms. Harmony Books, an Imprint of Crown Publishing Group, 2014.