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I was on a run, at the beach, or enjoying a s’more with my daughter and felt the need to post. A social media detox gave me the space to hit “reset.” Here is what I learned from a month long social media detox.

Cultivating Flow

The book Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi explains the peak reaches of happiness form when not in a passive or relaxed state, but rather moments where “a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile” (3). These moments of “flow” can happen anywhere, but it must be challenging and for a worthwhile purpose.

I reach these moments easily while writing, physically active, and teaching. Although, I’m not currently a “brick and mortar” classroom teacher, I reach moments of flow creating content for students and thinking of the purpose and benefits my creation will deliver. I think back fondly to moments in my middle school classroom and sometimes am brought to tears thinking of the pedagogical magic I created when faced with a group of distracted and rowdy middle schoolers. It’s these moments in life, the challenges with purpose, that bring the most joy.

Choosing to Focus

In the book Distraction Addiction author Alex Soojung-Kim Pang explores some solutions to operating with less distractions for the benefit of yourself and your family. He states that the “ability to pay attention, to control the content of your consciousness, is critical to a good life…When you’re constantly interrupted by external things – the phone, texts, people…the chronic distractions erode your sense of having control of your life…They make you lose yourself” (47).

In a sense, by consuming social media, I was choosing to be more distracted, and by default avoiding those precious moments of “flow” for myself and my family. As a mother of a toddler, coupled with the task of working from home, my day is filled with interruptions.  Lucky for me, my interruptions go back and forth from my work interrupting the play with my daughter and my daughter interrupting the flow of my work. This is the perfect scenario on some days, and extremely exhausting on others. Why complicate matters with more distractions?

Greg McKeown author of  Essentialism explains that “When we don’t purposely and deliberately choose where to focus our energies and time… we’ll [lose] sight of everything that is meaningful and important (16). Furthermore, setting boundaries can be a “source of liberation” (169). Setting boundaries on social media creates a routine around consumption and ultimately leads to more time spent on “flow” activities. It’s a trade off. Cut out “low flow” activities and insert “high flow” activities. If you think back to your childhood or you observe children, that is what they do all day long. They find new tasks to “master” with the purpose of their own independence. Essentially they are in states of “high flow” most of the time.

4 REALIZATIONS FROM A SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX

As I write this post, I am almost done with a month long social media detox. This detox included cutting out social media, and any form of news media. Although, I had a few hiccups along the way, for the most part, I was completely disconnected. Here is what I learned and a few solutions for a healthier dose of social media.

1.Social Media Promotes My Own Vanity

I was with friends, on a run, picking flowers and I was thinking of taking a picture of the event to post on social media. It’s great to share with others your life, but I was surprised how often I was tempted to post out of sheer vanity. It’s made me double check my motives for posting. I literally ask myself “Is this post just trying to show how cool I am?” If the answer is “yes,” then I stop myself from posting and have a pep talk with myself about my current narcissistic state.

2.I Care Too Much About What Others Think

I had realized I was trying to appease people on social media who don’t even care. I had started holding other people’s opinions at a higher priority than my actual self. When you let go of what other people think of you, there is a lot of freedom to do as you please. For example, I was afraid to start a blog because I was afraid of what other people would think. Who cares? Nobody cares that much about my life to criticize one small creative step, and even if they do, I don’t have to listen.

3.The Advertising Was Too Specific

I don’t want to be overwhelmed with “things” I don’t need, just because I googled “instant pot recipes.”

4.Social Media Adds Complexity Not Simplicity

Simplifying life is a goal of mine and social media had given me glimpses of too many people. Do I need to be updated several times a day on all of my acquaintances? No. Furthermore do I need to see news updates from politicians, celebrities, or products? No. What I need is space to relax, and time to do so.

Social media is a great tool and too valuable for me to give up entirely. I created a book club from Facebook, set up my daughter’s first birthday party, organized events, kept in contact with many close friends, and use it to promote my blog. I found that putting limits on my time on social media was the best solution. Taking a break provided me with the insight to avoid the vanity driven addictive behavior that I had fallen into. I encourage anyone to try the same for a month.

After my month long detox, I came up with a few boundaries that I will follow in the future.

Boundaries

1. Avoid Logging Into Social Media in the Morning

The morning is our sacred time of the day. It’s when I get my best creative work done, and have little distractions. Cutting out social media during this peak time is essential. Instead, I allow myself to go on social media in the evening, when my brain is already tired, and I don’t have any pressing work to do.

2.Biannual Media Detox

Completing a media detox twice a year allows you to press “reset” and observe my habits.

3.Eliminate Social Media from Phone or Computer

You can delete the app from your phone, or set boundaries of use on your computer. I found that deleting social media apps from my phone only encouraged me to log in more while I was on my computer, which means I was supposed to be working. Everyone is different, but observe your patterns and make a decision to eliminate social media while working on your computer, or from your phone.

4.Avoid Vanity Posts

Avoid posting or sharing based on your own narcissism. Consider your motive before posting. If it’s to show off how cool you are, your ego is driving and you should probably reconsider the post.

5.Reach Out to Friends Personally

Send close friends pictures or videos by text message, group chat, video chat, or email.  This is much more personal and focused than sharing with every one of our acquaintances. Your best friends are your best friends for a reason. Cultivate these important relationships. That reminds me, I have a few Skype sessions to schedule. 🙂

Final Thoughts

Closely related to a social media detox is a media detox. This blog post provides solutions for critically consuming news media, as that has a whole different set of challenges.

Also, I predominately promote my blog via social media Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook. If you are interested in receiving new blog posts through your personal email, so you too can try a social media detox, please subscribe to my blog by clicking the “subscribe” button on the right sidebar of the literallysimple.com webpage.

Join the Discussion

Have you taken a social media detox? What did you notice about your habits?

Author

-Maria Halcumb
B.A. in Secondary Education, English, and Physical Education
M.A. Ed. in Curriculum & Instruction and Reading Specialist

Sources

Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly. Flow: the Psychology of Optimal Experience. Harper Row, 2009.

McKeown, Greg. Essentialism: the Disciplined Pursuit of Less. Crown Business, 2014.

Pang, Alex Soojung-Kim. Distraction Addiction: Getting the Information You Need and the Communication You Want, Without. Little, Brown, 2013.